1. Take cold
chicken and
stars soup straight from the can and splash it across the carpet and the
foot of
the bed and then walk in it in the dark with your socks
on.
2. Set up a mouse trap
at the foot of the bed each night so that if you move a toe one inch
while you
are sleeping, you are sure to get snapped.
3. Cover all your best
suits with cat hair. Dark suits must use white hair, and light suits
must
use
dark hair. Also, float some hair in your first cup of coffee in the
morning.
4. Put everything
cat-toy sized into a water bowl to marinate.
5. Practice cutting
your
chicken into teeny tiny bites so that when they steal, it won't be
the
whole
breast.
6. Tip over a basket of
clean laundry, and scatter clothing all over the floor.
7. Leave
your underwear
on the living room floor, because that's where the cat will drag it
anyway
(especially when you have company).
8. Jump out of your
chair shortly before the end of your favorite TV program and run to the
TV.
shouting "No! No! Don't chew on the electric cord!" Miss the end of the
program.
9. Put chocolate pudding
on the carpet in the corner of the living room in the morning and don't
try to
clean it up until you return from work that evening.
10. Gouge
the surface of
the dining room table several times with an exacto knife.
It's going
to get
scratched anyway.
11. Practice searching
every closet and open cabinet door before you shut it.
12. Knock
all small
items off your kitchen counter.
13. Chew the eraser off
every pencil in the house.
14. Take a fork and
shred the roll of toilet paper while it's still hanging up.
Pull a
few sheets
off and scatter them around the bathroom.15. Take a staple
remover and punch two holes in every scrap of paper around the
house.
16. Get a litter tray
without a lid and mix in some tootsie rolls with cat litter and then tip
it over
right before the company comes. Make sure your guests get to find this
before
you do.
17. Buy a mixed bag of
cat toys and stuff them under the refrigerator.
Practice getting up
at 2AM
18. Take a warm cuddly
blanket out of the dryer and immediately wrap it around yourself. This
is the
feeling you will get when your new cat falls asleep on your
lap.
There now, once you've
done all these, you've passed the test, and are ready to take on that
little
furry critter!

Reprinted from Kit's Cat Nips