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HEY! DID YOU READ WHERE THE OSCARS STOLE MY IDEA OF THE M & Ms FOR THEIR SWAG BAG!??
Ode to Martin on his Twentieth Birthday
Since Martin’s last big birthday bash
He’s done a lot; spent loads of cash.
But not for theatre, films and shows
Because he’s found a femme who knows
That he can write a great review
In style that’s found in far too few
That makes you want to go and watch
Even if it’s not top notch.
His writing’s not confined to shows,
When food’s the topic, brilliant prose
About the latest meal he’s had
At restaurants both good and bad
Flows from his pen like butter sauce
Upon a sweetmeat second course.
And if for you that's not enough,
Then look at all the blogs and stuff
He tosses off from day to day
His critics wish he’d go away
Because he’s loudly proudly gay.
But others love him quite a lot
Some even think he’s really hot
And send best wishes when he falls
And damages a bit, and calls
The doctor to repair again
Whatever’s causing lots of pain.
He’s got a red electric chair
To carry him both here and there,
But being rather proud and tough
He say is isn't fast enough
He’d rather use his legs so trusty
To stop them slowly going rusty
A thing that he will never do
At least until he’s twenty-two
*****
And so I wish this lad of twenty
Lots of fun and food a-plenty
Throughout the years and years ahead
When all around are lying dead.
Happy Birthday
P