Well, I'm just going to talk about my day tomorrow, will be a difficult day for me, it's 2 years since my sister died on a motorbike accident, she was 23 years old, brings back a lot of toughs and memories, it's been also hard to deal with it all this time because i am a really closed person, closed about feelings and emotions, i don't express what i feel easily, and its been a hard time for me trying to "pretend" i am OK with it when i am not, it keeps me busy a lot of time, and today i was feeling a bit down. I know i should express my feelings, i have people who i know i could cry on their shoulder, but i'm just not that kind of person, i keep it inside till one day i "explode".
Thanks to a great friend i have online (don't need to mention who, lol) i have been able to talk about it lately, we actually had long chats about it and specially in tonight chat i kinda let my emotions go, i am glad he is able to make me talk about it, i apreciate it very much, i felt so much better after i talk about it, i thank him for being there for me when i needed a shoulder.
Tomorrow all my family will go to cemetery, i won't, i only go to cemetery alone, i don't bring flowers or anything, i just go and i stare at the grave, just looking, even after 2 years i still haven't realized she really died, sometimes i think she is somewhere else and will be back one day, i know she won't, i know i will never see her again, i miss her more than i miss any other thing in the world and it's something i will never see again, that breaks my heart.

i will post a song that brings me really big memories of her, it was her ring tone and i was the one who pick up her stuff (wallet, cellphone, etc) at police station, so in the way back as i didn't had courage to open her wallet i let her cellphone ring, a lot of friends were calling and i heard that song in the saddest moment of my life.

The Fray - How To Save a Life