I really shouldn't be giving my opinion of last night's Oscars for the simple reason that I haven't seen any of the pictures. I've been a little out of the loop lately owin' mainly to lack of interest.

However, as the resident roving reporter on all things Hollywood, (Yes, I know! I've been non-existent these last few months--had a bad case of Hollywooditis--like Mickey Rourke--broke and out of work!!! Boy, it's tough bein' a Hollywood 'know-it-all' in Oklahoma!! NOBODY wants to hire you here unless you can ride 'n rope, run a drillin' rig, or play football!) not being qualified to say my piece has never stopped me before, so here it comes.

1. Hugh Jackman as emcee--Easy on the eyes, if bland; I would have preferred Billy Crystal or Steve Martin, past hosts whose ad-libbing always gave the Oscars great moments.

2. " Slumdog Millionaire" as Best Picture--I saw this one coming a mile away. The academy's recent trend toward falling over itself to shower awards on "artsy", low budget films continues.

3. Sean Penn as Best Actor for "Milk"--Too predictable. The academy loves movies about gay men; after all, half the voters are gay themselves! (No prejudice inferred or intended. It's just a fact). Remember "Philadelphia" with Tom Hanks! That being said, if ever an actor deserved an Oscar for his entire body of work, Sean Penn did. He never gives a bad performance.

4. Kate Winslet as Best Actress for "The Reader"--again, too predictable. The only thing Hollywood loves more than movies about gay men is movies about the Holocaust. Witness the accolades laid at the feet of Shindler's List", "Diary of Anne Frank" and more. Again, if ever an actress deserved a win, Winslet did.(How many prior nominations? Five at least). One of the great actresses of this generation; she has the kind of talent and staying power of a Bette Davis.

5. Heath Ledger as Best Supporting Actor for "The Dark Knight". Was there ever any doubt?

6. Penelope Cruz as Best Supporting Actress for "Vicky Christina Barcelona" Thank goodness the Spanish cutie with the big brown eyes won.(Take note, G! Spanish blood produces BIG, DARK BROWN EYES!!) She had her whole family there! Her mom sat beside her on the front row. The gal who has had two of the highest profile romances in Hollywood with Tom Cruise and Matthew McCounghahay( Or something like that! Darned if I know how he spells his name; I can barely pronounce it!!)came with Mom to one of the all-time great date nights. Bless her!

And that's it from your roving reporter in the heartland. Feel free to throw in your two cents' worth too!