You're not going to believe this!  Conservative tea bagger guru Glenn Beck announced early this morning that he will announce the formation of the Tea Party Political Party tomorrow on his show.

Beck reportedly plans to state his intent to run for President on the Tea Party ticket later this year.  Asked by reporters if he had a running mate in mind, Beck demurred but did mention there would definitely be a place in his administration somewhere for Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, and the entire Cheney family, excepting that one ' black sheep gay daughter, of course.'

Beck said he made his decision based on his concerns about the direction the government is moving toward helping Middle America as personified by President Obama.

"Can you imagine,"  Beck stated,  " this N.......(censored) actually believes we need to spend the taxpayers' money to help people buy health insurance,  to reduce unemployment, to keep jobs in America, to allow ex-patriated citizens to visit their relatives in Cuba, and to re-establish good relations with those socialized Europeans."

Beck went on to elaborate that if elected his platform would include the following:

1.  Repeal of DADT replacing it with a strong anti-gay law to keep all gays out of the military:  "These perverts are a communist influence on our brave fighting men and women,"  he asserted.   "I will immediately launch a program to repeal DADT with a more stringent law that will call for the immediate dishonorable discharge of all gays from the military.

In addition, they will have to serve one year in the brig for every year they fought in Afghanistan or Iraq.  We need to send a strong message that we don't want patriotic gays defending OUR country!"

2.  Immediately stop those Cubans from going back to visit their mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters that they haven't seen in thirty years. "They are Americans; why should they want to go see those Commie relatives in Cuba?"

3.  Launch a war against Iran to get rid of those nuclear plants right now!

4.  Eliminate all minorities from serving in a government position. "Our founding fathers were all white guys, Beck said. "It's unconstitutional to let minorites work for our government."

5.  Tear down Rockefeller Plaza which is filled with statues depicting sublimal communist messages.

6.  Raise the taxes on the Middle Class and eliminate all taxes on the wealthy so they can get richer quicker.

7. Rescind any regulations Obama has passed on big banks and insurance companies.

8.  Repeal health care reform.

 "If people can't afford it or have pre-existing conditions, those are the breaks."

9.  Eliminate Medicare. "Old people should have to pay for insurance just like the rest of us," acccording to Beck.

10.  Give tax breaks to companies who outsource to China or India."We've got to help those poor people," Beck added

There's more, but I was just too sick at heart to mention them, so I'll just conclude with asking if you really believe this, because, if you do, Beck could probably find a place for you to work in his campaign...just don't expect to get paid.


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