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Ryanair,
the Irish airline that has elevated nickeling and diming passengers to
an art form, has found another way to suck money out of people's
pockets — installing pay toilets on airplanes.
The
CEO of the famously cheap company announced, with a straight face, that
he's toying with the idea of putting pay toilets in every one of the
airline's 168 Boeing 737s. The idea has pilots and passengers freaking
out, the airline's flacks scrambling to contain the damage and us
wondering what happens to the poor schmuck who can't break a tenner.
"One
thing we have looked at in the past and are looking at again is the
possibility of maybe putting a coin slot on the toilet door so that
people might actually have to spend a pound ($1.43) to spend a penny in
future," the windbag O'Leary said todayBBC Breakfast.
He seemed genuinely perplexed to hear some passengers fly without cash.
"I don't think there is anybody in history that has got on board a
Ryanair aircraft with less than a pound," he said. during an appearance on the popular morning talkfest
And it seems O'Leary is determined to take that pound out of their pockets.
Should
the plan come to pass, it would mark a new low for an airline that
hasn't seen a fee it didn't like. Ryanair is Europe's largest low-fare
carrier and a poster child for no-frills service, forcing customers to
pony up for everything from using a credit card to speaking with a
living, breathing customer-service rep. Later this year it plans to rip out its ticket counters to save a few more bucks. And to think U.S. travelers went nuts last year when US Airways announced it would charge for beverages and snacks — a policy it has reversed because it made the companylookcheap.Â
O'Leary's announcement has employees — presumably even those with enough time to beat up on a blogger — and passengers alike crossing their legs and shaking their heads. Comments posted on the aptly titled Professional Pilots Rumour Network run the gamut from disbelief to disgust. "Is this some kind of joke?"
writes one pilot. "I think they've gone a bit too far." Another notes,
"Something should be done about this company.... They are the laughing
stock of aviation in Europe."
And America.
Others
wonder if flight attendants will earn commissions based on the number
of passengers who visit lavatories in their section of the aircraft.
Advocacy groups are horrified by the prospect of toilets becoming
corporate profit centers. My question is, "What happens when the
airline crosses international boundaries? Does the money type change?Â
Well, it is something to think about, you know!
"It
seems Ryanair is prepared to plumb any depth to make a fast buck and
once again is putting profit before the comfort of its customers," said Rochelle Turner, head of research for the passenger advocacy group Which?.
Of course, we're talking about an airline the Association of British
Travel Agents calls famous for treating passengers with contempt.
What's
stunning is there's nothing keeping Ryanair from adopting the
pay-to-pee policy. A representative of the Civil Aviation Authority,
which regulates aviation in Britain, told Times Online,
"Ryanair is legally able to do this." It seems fair, then, that
customers would be legally able to relieve themselves in a wastebasket
in the galley if they don't have a quid.
It also makes us wonder if a barf-bag can be recycled.
Photo: Flickr / sapphireblue
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