We have had the same silverware for over three decades but lately I'm complaining to my wife that our dinner forks are too narrow. Dinner forks have tapered tines used to "spear" pieces of food. Tines are those sharp points at the end of a fork. Who knew? Certain foods like corn or peas and carrots roll off the fork when I try to eat. My wife says I must be crazy in that I just recently started to express discontent about our dinner forks. In my current thinking, we need a salad fork which is a bit wider for a lot of my dinner items.

I think I really need to examine our Sterling silver set of silverware my wife has hidden away somewhere to see if those dinner forks are any wider to see if I'm crazy. At times now, I use a spoon to eat some of my vegetables, much to my wife's displeasure,especially creamed corn or spinach or beans. If we're out with company at a restaurant, the forks never seem to pose a problem but here at home, I have the gut feeling that something is wrong.

I told my wife we should invest in a nice set of sporks: those spoon shaped utensils with short tines at the top. Sporks are used in fast food chains, schools, air line meals, the military, and prisons. YES. In prisons. !!! The way I feel is if a spork is good enough for Bernie Madoff, the Son of Sam, and O.J. Simpson, then it's good enough for me. Our reusable set of plastic sporks I ordered should be arriving from the Alcatraz Cutlery Company in San Francisco in a few days.