I have been feeling a lot more like myself over the last couple of days, and then this morning I was hit by an emotional pothole. I was driving down Lake Shore Drive to be to work early for an event that I'm running when I hit the pothole. I noticed how beautiful the lake was with the sun shinning off of it. Then I thought of how nice it was when Mike and I rode our bikes from his house to work one morning. I could just see him riding by the lake on his way to work every day. It made me miss him horribly.

I sent him an e-mail message Monday morning. There was an article in the paper about how lawyers can have some of their law school debt forgiven if they work as district or state's attorneys. I titled the e-mail "Something you should know" and the body of the e-mail was just the link to the article. No response from him at all.

I saw my therapist on Tuesday night. I've been seeing her on and off for more than ten years. I doubt that anyone really knows me better than she does. It was good to talk to her. She said one thing that really helped me. She told me that it wasn't my fault. It sounds so simple yet it really did mean so much to me. Other than that, there wasn't a lot she really said. She was sorry that I'm going through so much pain though. She did tell me that I needed to have a complete black out from him. I know several of my friends have said the same thing. I blocked him from accessing my status, wall and lots of other things on facebook. This way he really can't check up on me and see how I'm doing. She said that after a while he may miss me and contact me. I really doubt it.

I'm just a little sad this morning. Tonight I have a fun night planned. My college roommate and I are going to see Melissa Etheridge in concert!!! I can't wait.