sA couple of Irish entrepreneur

Two Irishmen in London were strolling along Oxford Street. After walking for
a few minutes, Paddy turns to Seamus with a look of amazement on his face
and says: "Shay, will you have a look at that shop over there: I thought
that London was supposed to be expensive, but that place is as cheap as
chips!"

Seamus says: "Paddy you're right, so you are. Will you have a look at that.
Suits £10.00, Shirts £4.00, Trousers £5.00. I think we should buy the lot
and take them back to Ireland. We'd make a tidy profit selling them in
Dublin, so we would."

Paddy says in agreement: "Shay, that's as good an idea
as you'll ever have, but I'm pretty sure that you have to pay taxes and duty
on things like that. The shopkeeper will never let us have them if he thinks
we're gonna export them and make our fortune, so he won't."

Seamus thinks for a moment and says: "Paddy, I've got an idea! You can do
the best English accent out of the pair of us. You go in there and do the
talking, and I'll just stand behind you and say nothing. He'll never guess
we're Irish, so he won't." Right ye be, Shay", agrees Paddy, "I'll do the
talking, you just stand there and look English."

So the two Men of Erin go into the shop, where Paddy is greeted politely by
the owner. Paddy then proceeds to do his best Alf Garnett impression:

"Awwwight Guvnor, I'll 'ave twenny of yer Whistle "n" Flutes, twenny Dickie
Dirts, "n" twenny pairs o' trarsies. An' if yer don't mind, I'll be paying
with the 380 Pictures of the Queen in my Sky Rocket."

On hearing this the owner smiles, takes a look at Seamus as well, and then
says: "You're Irish, aren't you?" Quite bemused, Paddy replies "Oh bejaysus,
if that ain't me best English accent! How in God's name did you know we was
Irish?"

The owner grins and replies: "This is a dry cleaners


AND ANOTHER



With Age Comes Wisdom....

The guy is 70 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat

the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.'He looked

around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when

he heard the voice say a gain,'Pick me up.'


He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

The man said, 'Are you talking to me?'

The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up then, kiss me

and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.

I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because

I will be your bride!'

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it

up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.

Then the frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I

said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride.'

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,

'Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog..