15 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

15 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity (an aside: insane enough with everything capitalised)

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With
Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.
See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise
Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If
They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it
'In'.

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once
Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions,
Switch to Espresso.

6. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With
The Prophecy'.

7. Don't use any punctuation.

8. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

9. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat,
with a serious face.

10. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

11. Sing Along At The Opera.

12. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and
Play tropical Sounds All Day.

13. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't
Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

14. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I
Won!'

15. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The
Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'