>>>Rules of the Universe
>>>
>>>1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
>>>on the same night.
>>>
>>>2 Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.
>>>
>>>3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in
>>>a garage makes you a car.
>>>
>>>4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
>>>
>>>5. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
>>>
>>>6. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice
>>>person. (This is very important. Pay attention! It never fails.)
>>>
>>>7. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
>>>
>>>8. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
>>>
>>>9. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
>>>
>>>10. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so
>>>good.
>>>
>>>11. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
>>>
>>>12. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. Embrace your
>>>differences. Love each other.
>>>
>>>13. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
>>>
>>>14. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
>>>
>>>15. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist
>>>change places.
>>>
>>>16. Opportunities always look bigger after they have passed.
>>>
>>>17. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks
>>>before you need it.
>>>
>>>18. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
>>>
>>>19. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a
>>>mistake when you make it again.
>>>
>>>20. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
>>>
>>>21. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
>>>
>>>22. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real
>>>world.
>>>
>>>23. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
>>>
>>>24. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.'
>>>
>>>25. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
>>>want you to share yours with them.
>>>
>>>26. You should not confuse your career with your life.
>>>
>>>27. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
>>>
>>>28. Never lick a steak knife.
>>>
>>>29. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
>>>
>>>30. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling
>>>reason why we observe daylight savings time.
>>>
>>>31. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
>>>that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
>>>from her at that moment.
>>>
>>>32. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
>>>gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep
>>>down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
>>>
>>>33. Your friends love you anyway.
>>>
>>>34. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur
>>>built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
>>>
>>>35. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
>>>
>>>