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I went to the place where my father's bones rest. This was the very first time that I have done so. It was disturbing....and beautiful all at the same time. I sat down with him and told him all the things I have needed to say for so long. Tears, then laughter, and finally more tears were shed for the man I loved so dearly. I promised to make him proud, and apologized for not being a better daughter.
I breath, because of him. I understand love, because of him. I survive, because of him. I am compassionate and caring because of him. Everything good in me, is because of him. And I have a broken soul, because he is no more.
This is my second Father's day without my Dad. I found out exactly two years ago that he had liver cancer. We had seven months of time left. I spent more time with him in those months than I had in as many years before that. I was with him when he died, and my heart broke for the man I barely knew. I rarely cry, not a macho thing, I just don't. I cried uncontrollably during the funeral. I miss him....I really do. I haven't been to the grave since we layed him in it. Sunday, I will go.
