Ole, out in his pasture in northern Minnesota, takes a lightning- quick kick from a cow right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said 'How bad is it Doc? . . . I'm going on my honeymoon next veek and my finance, Lena , is still a virgin - in every vay'. The doctor told him, 'I'll have to put your willy in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week.' He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together . . . Quite an impressive work of art. Ole mentions none of this to Lena, marries her, and they go on their honeymoon to Duluth. That night in the motel room, Lena rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful, untouched breasts. She said, 'You're the first vun. No vun has EVER seen deez.' Ole immediately drops his pants and replies, 'Look at dis, ....still in DA CRATE!