Putting Your Affairs In Order...

 

A woman went to her doctor. After an examination,
the doctor sighed and
said, 'I've some bad news. You have cancer. You'd
best put your affairs
in order.'

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose
herself and walk into the
waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

'Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are
good, and we
celebrate when things don't go so well. In this
case, things aren't
well. I have cancer. Let's head to the club and have
a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little
less somber. There
were some laughs and more martinis. They were
eventually approached by
some of
the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what
the two were
celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her
impending end.
'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'

The friends were aghast and gave the woman their
condolences.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned
over and whispered,
'Momma, you said you were dying of cancer. Why did
you just told your
friends you were dying of AIDS?'

 

The woman said, 'I don't want any of those bitches
sleeping with your
father after I'm gone.'

That's 'Putting Your Affairs In Order.