A couple of weeks ago, sitting in a chair by our computer for about 15 minutes, my wife asked if she could clear off some of her mail on the computer so I got up but when she sat down she told me the seat was burning and remarked about what a hot ass I have. I made an appointment to see our primary physician thinking leaving the seat so hot is not normal and sure enough, he said I'm suffering from AHAS ...ACUTE HOT ASS SYNDROME (not to be confused with having a cute hot ass). While there is no cure for AHAS, symptoms can be alleviated by soaking one's derriere in an ice cold bath and stuffing dry ice in their underwear.