Three couples playing golf. Pom, Irish & Scot.

Pom lady bends over to place the ball on the tee. Everyone can see that she isn't wearing knickers. Her hubby says 'Jeeze woman, why aren't you wearing knickers?' She replies 'It's the pitiful spending money you give me, I can't afford any' Hubby reaches into his pocket and takes out his wallet.'Well here's a fiver, go and buy some for gawds sake'

Irish lady bends down to place ball on the tee, no knickers. 'Bloody hell woman, you're embarrasing me, whyno knickers?' '
Give me more spending money and I'll be able to afford some!' Irish hubby reaches into a pocket,pulls out his wallet 'Here's a fiver, go buy some'

Scots lady bends down to place her ball on the tee, no knickers. 'Shyte woman, have you no shame, where's your knickers?' 'Well, you bloody old skinflint, I can't afford any with the wee allowance you give me'
Hubby reaches into his pocket, pulls out a comb, gives it to his missus. 'Here, at least make yourself look presentable!'


Crocodile shoes...

Blonde in Cairns goes into a shoe shop...may i help you...yes, i'd like a pair of crocodile shoes..-----.sure, they start at around $500..----.bugga that, i'll go and get my own.

Later, the salesman's on his way home & sees the blonde waist deep in a creek. He stops, gets out and sees 3 crocodiles lying quite dead on the bank.

Blonde takes aim with a shotgun, kills another & drags it to the shore....&%($#@& she says, another bugga with no shoes...