You don't stop laughing because you grow old,
You grow old because you stop laughing!!!


This is your captain speaking
After a British Airways flight reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced:
'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto. The weather ahead is good so we should have a smooth, uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and ... OH MY GOD!'

Silence followed!
Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom.
'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'
One Irish passenger yelled,
'by Jaysus you should see the back of mine!'