Dawn

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Username:
butterfly1969
Name:
Dawn
Location:
Mitchell, SD
Birthday:
03/24
Status:
Married
Job / Career:
Sales

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Life & Events > Me ... ... Who AM I
 

Me ... ... Who AM I

i really don't know what to do anymore.some days life seems to much to bare. on the days i don't work i sit in my house. i don't go outside. i just stay here. the world is getting to big for me again.
i know last week i upset a very good friend of mine. i was going to go see her and i didn't go. it was nothing she did. i just knew if i went i would not want to leave her again. she is my best friend, my sis, i love her very much.
i have made up my mind that i am moving back to where i came from. life is to hard here. i have nobody. yes i do have my family (lloyd and the kids) and they are very important to me. but at this point in my life thats not enough. i need more. i need the rest of my family and my friends.
i have talked to lloyd about this. i don't know if he is coming with or not. don't get me wrong. we still love each other very much. as many of you know i have anxiety and depression. i have had it under control for quite awhile now. i thought. i was wrong. right now i fell like i have the weight of the world on my shoulders again. i guess i used to say my plate was to full and i couldn't handle the world. well my life is getting that way again.
when i first moved here i thought i didn't need anybody. i was better off here where nobody knew me or my life and i could keep everything to myself and nobody needed to know my problems and i didn't need anybodies help to get threw them. OH MY GOD was i wrong. i need help i need those people back in my life now more that ever. life is not good. i have nobody here and it is hitting me like a ton of bricks. i want so bad to pack me and the 3 boys bags and walk out of now today and go back to beresford. but i can't and its killing me. like i said i hurt my best friend last week and that is killing me. i just hope she understands. i want to see her so bad but it would just hurt to bad to have to leave her again and come back here. i want to be down there so bad. i want to see her everyday again. she is my life my cruch.
maybe i should explain alittle bit. or try to. i was happy when i got here. what has changed. i'm not really sure but it hit me and it hit hard. i think it is a little of everything. my son moved back down with his dad. my daughter down with her boyfriend. work is terrable. my car is falling apart. my twins are into everything possible. just seems that anything that could go wrong right now has.
i need out of here and fast. i need you sis. i need the biggest longest hug we have ever had. and we have had some long ones. i also need a bear hug.

posted on Aug 24, 2009 9:02 AM ()

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