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Approximately nine months ago, I started flirting with the thought of online dating. First, because I was comfortable being online, the second reason was...well, I was single. There seems to be three stages with this "dating" process. I would not call it dating btw, until the two parties actually go on a date. But for the sake of this post, it is all lumped together. The three stages (in my opinion) would be introduction, corresponding, and meeting. I personally have never moved past step-one on any of these sites, so this article is mainly to poke fun at the "introduction" step.
OK, groundwork laid... Here is how some of these dating sites work. You compile a profile with as much good stuff as you can, upload your best photos (you would think!), and start sifting through other eager candidates. Just as in there are three stages with online dating...there are three emotional stages in the "introduction" phase. When you start down this path, you are hopeful (optimistic and excited). This is the fun stage. Woo hoo...there is a match, shes pretty, etc.! Anyway, the next stage would be the "sifting" stage. Besides trying to decipher which match has potential (I use that term lovingly), one has to weed through the sultry photos of woman that want you to join their adult websites. You also have the hordes of Russian women that absolutely need you to send money so they can get their Visa to come visit you. The third emotion is the "what the hell are they thinking" stage. This is the one I like.
One dating site constantly advertised on television...you know, the one that is suppose to find us our true love. The way that site works is you receive daily "compatibility" matches. Then, you view their profile and determine if you want to keep communicating, or close the match. Right off the bat, I think their system was trying to tell me something. You see..one gets to enter a desired age range of the partner you would like to be matched up with. I think I entered something like 26-43. Well, a big red system warning came up and said "whoa, hold on mister! We think you would be better off with women that are 38-65". ...Umm, no! After I finally convinced the computer to think my way, I began to receive matches.
Immediately, I started to wonder about this "compatibility" thing. I was getting a complex in light of some of the matches I was receiving! OK, I am not a prince...but golly! What the hell did I put in my profile that would make their system hand pick these "special" women for me? Come to think of it...I did say I had a sense of humor!
When one receives a match you can view pictures...you can also read their profile which contains information such as likes, dislikes, last book they read, etc. Now, I don't consider myself to be a jerk...but for me, I am not going to go down a system-generated-compatibility path without a picture. Call me shallow...but no way! I have to wonder why someone would not include a photo of themselves. One of the more memorable profiles I read was a woman without a photo stated that the last book she read was something like "How to lose huge amounts of weight fast!" I immediately got a visual on that one...it was not exactly putting her best foot forward! More to the point are some other candidates that include photos. C'mon, there has to be a decent photo of you somewhere...remember, these are dating sites! I have received photos of dogs (literally!), women sleeping on the couch, and a few like the one below. I kid you not, below is the actual profile photo their system claims to be my ideal soul mate! I mean, I am not even sure which person in the photo is the actual match! It's good to have choices though. Someone please save me! ~Eddie
