Man I remember some funny times I had when I was teenager. There were a bunch of us guys that spent so much time together it was unbelievable. I was about a year younger than the others, so I had it pretty good. One of my best friends, Steve, was a bit spoiled, so we always had access to some money and vehicles. Though not flashy, one of cars was a white Pinto wagon that we basically lived in. We went everywhere in this thing. Half the time we didn't have a destination, we would just get in and go.

One time, we were on some road trip and I had to pee really badly. I am talking get creative NOW kind of pee! Not sure why we didn't just pull over or something, but the first thing I thought to do was jump in the back seat and attempt to utilize an empty coke bottle. You remember the glass 16oz. coke bottles? I mean the opening is like a half inch in diameter, so nothin' was even close to fittin'. My aim had to be dead on...it wasn't! I can still picture Steve frantically looking back yelling something like "OMG! what are you doing?". This is before the word "dude!" was in vogue, otherwise it would have applied. Unfortunately, juvenile laughing only made things worse...much worse! The more I laughed, the more I missed. It was a vicious circle. To add insult to injury, I completely filled up the 16 oz. bottle. Now I don't know about most of you, but once I get started, there isn't any stopping the process. Trying to make the transition from one bottle to another didn't work well either. It was a mess! Then, ever try throwing a full bottle of warm pee out the window? Major spillage! We both could not stop laughing!

Another time in HS, Steve and I were just getting out of our final classes. As we both had study hall at the end of the day, we were allowed to skip it and leave. It was probably around 11:30am, and it was the dead of winter in Cleveland. After the normal shuffle through the halls, we met up at the front doors and quickly prepped for the dash to his car.

I noticed Steve acting a bit agitated and mumbling something. He also was holding his books both in front and behind him in weird manner...as if hiding something. I was like "what the heck are you doing?". Without a word he started running for the car. I followed behind thinking maybe because it was freezing outside, he just wanted to quickly get out of the cold. A few strides in, I noticed what appeared to be steam billowing out from his pants. I am like "what the hell?". Without breaking stride, he turned and told me he had accidentally pissed himself while waiting for his last class to end. Well...I just lost it watching his now freshly warmed corduroys interact with the freezing air. The sight of what was meant to be a stealthy getaway turning into a dramatic display, was just to much for this teenager. I could barely run I was laughing so hard! Poor Steve failed to see the humor at the time, but later we did get a lot of laughs out of it!