Whenever I post on here, I don't really delve into the heart of the matter. I talk about grandiose manifestations and positive thoughts. I shy away from the inner parts of me. See, I don't truly like the inner parts of me all the time. I am a strong, confident, gorgeous, successful woman who has definite insecurities, dark fears, jealousy, rage and imperfections.

My boyfriend and I are working through a growing period. Relationships are continually growing periods, which is a good thing. Because without growth, there's stagnation and death.

We had a long talk today about our relationship, our histories, our needs, our wanting to work on our relationship. He's still healing from past relationships, and I'm still healing from my past relationships.

The thing I'm learning is that ultimately, we are working towards being true friends. I thought I had understood what it meant to be best friends in a relationship, but just now it's finally pinging in my mind what it means to have a healthy, loving, strong relationship with my significant other. We need to be a good friend to the other.

Other things I'm learning is that it's okay to be different. Being different isn't bad. Being different is normal. Hell, no one is the same. We may come from the same town, or know the same people, or like the same music ... but no one is the same. All my friends are different. I'm different. This is normal.

It's the letting go of differences that is essential. To let go of all the ways I contrast myself, to shed everything I identify with that creates a difference, a gap, between me and my boyfriend. This isn't hard to do and it's not impossible. It's just a transformation I must go through.

It sounds nutty and very wheatgrass and yoga, but in time (as all things take time to grow) the world I live in can/will transform from a place of disillusionment into having my heart filled with the sweet warmth that comes from loving and being loved.

You've heard me gush about him. You've read me raving about him. He is truly a loving, genuine, fantastic, smart, witty, intelligent, magnificent man.

It is in the darkest of night that light begins to appear. I am working towards no longer fearing who I am, but embracing how wonderful I am and how lucky people are to know, love and encounter me. Just as I'm as lucky to know, love and encounter them.

Love and Light to you.