The Men's Names

Aaron - ugly but hung like a horse, prone to belly button fluff.

Able - totally useless.

Adam - not very bright and not very pretty, has almost mastered hygiene.

Adrian - usually short and very horny, watches cartoons.

Alan - shy but sensitive, gets screwed over by women.

Alex - cute and tall but a liar and a cheat.

Alistair - likes being tied up, and really enjoys playing with train sets

Amir - dirty, smelly, pecker is minuscule. Bad diet.

Andrew - Highly intelligent and wears a kilt. Poor standards of hygiene. Homicidal tendencies.

Antonio - has a great body and beautiful skin, and chicken brain. Looks in the mirror too much.

Anthony - great guy and kind to all girls, smells of wee.

Arnold - loser.

Arthur - hung like a slave and celibate.

Avenir - reads too many fantasy books, wears armour to bed.

Baron - Reads SAS books, wants to go out and shoot something or somebody.

Barry - lights fires, pinches girl's bottoms and is well hung.

Barnaby - very big, very strong and very gentle, cries a lot.

Ben - funny and can be real difficult to beat at games.

Bill - thinks he's really popular, thinks all the girls want him ...he's wrong.

Bob - quiet and unpopular, eats with his hands.

Brad - short and squat, has bad breath.

Braden - Drop out and doesn't care, will set record for longest employee at McDonalds.

Brandon - good looking but uses girls. Not very academic.

Brendan - quiet and sweet, gets beaten up all the time.

Brett - worldwide slut and really insensitive, women love him.

Brian - mean and only thinks of himself, he's just a very naughty boy.

Bryan - sexy, but stupid - can't spell.

Bronsen - annoying and never grows up - has a stupid name.

Bruce - stinks bad and thinks everyone else's name is also Bruce.

Bryce - fun to be with and will make you laugh, you'll kill him within a week.

Callum - tall and geeky, very defensive.

Calvin - immature in a naive way, drives a Gemini.

Cameron - Australian. Big muscles.

Carl - horny. bastard, who can't sing.

Carlo - dark and brooding, for some unknown reason girls seem to like him!

Carson - fun to be around and really sensitive.

Chad - cute, sensitive and very studly - only found in American movies, no real person has that name.

Charles - can't trust him, eyes too close together.

Chris - can't pull, will pay for women, but has a huge pecker and can use it too.

Christian - Gay but very sexy and seductive.

Clark - hilarious and always in trouble, problem with 'jailbait'.

Cliff - very sweet and adores girls, but very superficial.

Clive - trainspotter ... dull as ditchwater.

Cole - nice, funny, and very stupid.

Colin - lies to women and blows up public buildings.

Cory - funny but ugly, ends up running fashion magazines.

Craig - tries to fit in - he never does.

Crispin - Ugly homosexual. Fancies himself. Successful

Curtis - needs constant mothering and reassurance.

Damien - spawn of the devil, but in a good way.

Damon - total loser in a sweaty sort of way.

Dan - quiet but funny, but becomes easily addicted to narcotics.

Danny - Wears stylish clothes and has silky womens underwear beneath them.

Dane - weird but can hold together a conversation with a mermaid.

Daniel - enjoys root vegetables in every orifice.

Darren - charming , but sleeps with men.

Darwyn - exercises too much, favourite word Ug Daryl - pompous and overbearing, likes using big words that only he understands.

David - Sensible and works out a lot, loves girls named Florence.

Dave - extremely sexy, always funny, intelligent, stylish, trendsetter i.e. a wanker.

Dean - full of himself and thinks with his dick.

Dele - well endowed likes blondes. Looks in the mirror too much

Dennis - either very nice to girls or a faggot.

Derek - has a great sense of humour, and a blow-up doll collection.

Dillon - Stupid but well-built, women just use him for sex.

Dominic - hilarious and will do anything to please anybody.

Don - dickhead, nobody likes him.

Doug - has a mybloggers face, drinking problem and farts.

Drew - bad-arse loser who never shuts up.

Duncan - hopeless ski bum, brains shot away long ago.

Dylan - thinks he's funny, falls asleep during sex.

Dwayne - cool guy to be around if you can handle his name.

Eddie - wants too many chicks he'll never get cos he's an arsehole.

Elis - would rather make model airoplanes than have sex.

Elliott - full of himself.

Eric - shy and timid like a little mouse.

Evan - a little slow but sweet, sexy, and a model mental patient.

Finn - Completely indecisive, suffers terribly with Catholic guilt.

Frank - single helix DNA and it shows.

Fraser - sucks pigs dicks & swallows the lot.

Frederick/Fred/Freddie - wants to rule the world. Loves women

Fritz - Loves playing games. Never wins.

Gareth - sweet but dresses too good to be straight. Can't play rugby.

Gary - drug addict but willing to share.

Garry - forever fiddling with himself and wonders why no-one will shake hands.

Gavin - likes bondage, S&M with other men.

Geoff - prefers golf to sex and war to peace.

George - barman who drinks more than he serves.

Gerry - quiet and insecure, a doormat.

Gilbert - Morris dancer, collects antique sweet wrappers.

Glen - the sweetest guy - really down to earth. good teacher. crap in bed.

Gordon - big bloke in a dirty raincoat, kinda flashy.

Greame - very hard to understand, likes group sex.

Graham - will screw anything.

Grahame - thinks he's better than other Grahams because he has an extra 'e'.

Grant - Short and ugly! but so sweet and you can talk to him about anything.

Greg - really sweet and feels suicidally sorry for himself.

Harry - Good at sport. Women love him. Blokes hate him.

Harvey - cute, but addicted to sex and/or drugs.

Haydn - tries hard, succeds rarely.

Heinz - Likes variety in his life. in his fifties. Overweight.

Henry - dull, dull, dull, dull ... likes trains and tweed jackets, probably a science teacher.

Howard - likes small-breasted women and pornography.

Howell - sings too much.

Ian - likes to stuff animals and dress up in women's clothing.

Ivor - militant psychopath with homosexual tendencies.

Izzy - circumsized, but they threw away the wrong bit.

Jake - shy and sweet but a slut when drunk.

Jamie - Devious scum of the earth.

James - can't handle his beer, smells of mayonaise and does wet farts.

Jarrod - Arrogant, stuck-up, pompous and annoying. Loves himself totally and has lots of mirrors.

Jason - Gayer than a pink fairy winning a trophy at the gayest pink fairy competition.

Jay - very sweet when you get to know him well. which is a problem because he has bad breath.

Jeff - really ugly.

Jerome - gay, but very unhappy.

Jeremy - loud and thinks that he's all that he says he is.

Jesse - unpopular and needs to move on.

Jack - stupid but hot, always alright.

Jim - sweet, has fantasies of love and affection but wanks too much.

Jimmy - Goes to the toilet twice a night, doesn't always get up for it.

Joe - built like a bear, sexy but tends to lose his head. Bisexual

Joel - arse.

John - has few friends and no life - tends to kill small animals.

Jon - Not too bright will end up married to a cousin.

Jolyon - absolute raving homosexual.

Jonathon - think he's good - he's shit. Looks in the mirrror too much.

Jordan - sexy but weird in bed. Hung like a wildebeest.

Jose - hot boy with a love of hermaphrodites.

Josh - full of himself, fun.

Julian - used to be a wooden boy, but is now almost real with a big nose.

Junior - Not very clever, but good at football.

Justin - aggravating but lovable, insecure but successful and overweight.

Kain - one of the sexiest guys alive but very stuck up.

Keegan - always has a bit of his last meal displayed on his clothes.

Kev - lager lout, wears cheap and loud clothes.

Kevin - always attracts really fit girlfriends and then loses them when they see his dick!

Keith - good person to talk to when you have a problem - his is worse.

Kenneth - very, very...anything you want him to be.

Kerry - wants to be in a boy band but he's not pretty enough.

Kirk - good looking, worries that he might be gay.

Kurt - can kick anyone's arse.

Kyle - hornball who eats too many cornchips.

Larry - cute but wannabe player with big arse.

Laurey - short and funny looking.

Lee - girl dressed up as a boy, total arse bandit.

Levi - same as Lee only not so pretty.

Lewis - lonely, sad git, bit of a tosser. Welsh

Liam - loud mouthed arsehole.

Lorenzo - fine and dresses in stolen gold.

Lucas - fat loser that dates other men.

Luke - seems to be sweet.

Madison - so far up his own arse there's no room for his boyfriend.

Malcolm - tall man who tends to lose his trousers. And is gay!!!

Mark - Good looking and very clever. Every woman would if she could.

Marshall - Never seems to age, this is because he is in fact an anderoid!

Martin - Stud. Loves himself. would make a good lawyer.

Matt - the fat boy of the class, likes sweets and is full of shit.

Matty - Life and soul of the party, could get a corpse dancing.

Menno - built like a horse. Only does it doggy.

Michael - very good looking but he'll do anything for a girl. Doesn't like to work too hard. Sexual deviant

Mick - always drunk, tendency for drug abuse.

Mintesh - boy racer, the arsehole who drives with the stereo too loud and the windows down even though it's cold!

Mitchell - big bloke, sweats a lot, usually pure alcohol.

Mohammed - small penis, but still really enjoys playing with it.

Nathan - stupid as hell, and tends to make others feel dumb.

Nick - inbred - can't get past the missionary position though.

Neil - sweet and will do anything in this world for you, great in bed but only on his own.

Noel - only goes out with girls so that he can steal their clothes.

Oliver - likes men but is in denial.

Oscar - complete loser, hated by his parents.

Owen - cute gay guy who is immature, and sings Welsh songs.

Patrick - drunk, drunk, drunk.

Paul - cool, calm and handsome, a quality only found in gays.

Peter - Likes sheep more than girls, will probably end up married to a relative.

Phillip - homophobic, image conscious twat, likes to fuck poodles.

Ramsey - thinks he's posh but is actually a knob.

Raymond - doesn't like to be called Ray because it sounds too 'straight'.

Richard - can't see his feet as balls are too big

Ricky - ugly shithead who everybody hates.

Rikki - see above, but can't even spell.

Rob - constantly watches porn.

Robin - Ugly and not very bright, probably a teacher.

Roger - acts like a wanker when drunk ... Permanently drunk!

Rory - men are only nice to him so they can talk to his sister.

Roy - total loser and computer genius.

Rupert - arrogant twat who is crap in bed but thinks he is a stud.

Russell - likes to play in the leaves which makes him an arsehole. Pantomime dame

Ryan - short and stout, but popular.

Sam - wannabe sex machine.

Sandeep - complete anorak, owns a metal detector.

Sean - thinks he's James Bond, in reality a dipstick.

Scott - has serious disabilities. likes winter sports

Sean - has small deformed testicles and no friends.

Seth - so sweet to other people but is a traitor.

Shane - cute gay guy who is immature, and sings Welsh songs.

Shannon - like the, river wet and full of shit.

Shaun - bit of a hard bastard, thinks women love him.

Simon - likes a night out with the lads and curries. Talks bollocks.

Sonny - thinks he's tough and proves it with young girls and boys.

Spencer - thinks everybody wants to shag him - he's a virgin

Steve - popular and funny when looked at side-on.

Stuart - loves it right up there, normally with a toilet roll and a hamster

Taylor - Gay, gay, gay, gay ....

Terry - small and wirey with a nasty temper.

Tim - hot but a bit strange, can never tell where he is.

Toby - best blow ever.

Tom - cool but can be very arrogant.

Tomas - part-druid, likes to dance round things naked.

Tony - hot, sweet, and totally fun to be around. tendency to megalomania

Travis - fat and horny with the best XXX collection to be found.

Trevor - sweet and funny but sometimes untrustworthy.

Troy - cute and popular.

Tyrone - Big bloke with a gay moustache, but nobody dares tell him.

Ty - small and kind of shrivelled.

Var - adventurous type, can't sit quietly and so is very annoying.

Wade - huge bloke, people jog round him and have to stop halfway for a rest.

Walter - Rich, but with no taste in anything, so the money is a bit of a waste.

Wasim - Good at sport. Likes bondage. Intelligent.

Warren - cool, homosexual guy. Picks his nose alot.

Wesley - great guy and easy to notice. hung like an elephant. An animal in bed - Chicks love him.

Will - wishes he were popular.

William - not very tall, but ultra-cool.

Zach - sweet and polite and twisted.

Zahid - devious and sly. Not to be trusted.