Chris

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oombutu
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Chris
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Engineering

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Ordinary As They Come

Education > Special Education > 2xlt
 

2xlt

I was born into a world that is 3 sizes too small with a life 30 years too short.

I am 6'8" tall and weigh 280 lbs. That puts me in the top tenth of the top percentile in the world.

No one feels bad for the tall guy. Why? We feel sorry for the short guy. The 'vertically challenged' dude. Oh sure, there are a lot of natural advantages:

I can change a light bulb without a step stool.
I can put th star on the Christmas tree without a ladder.
I can reach the top shelf in the supermarket.
I can see the back of the top shelf in the kitchen cabinet.
I can paint the ceiling without hurting my back.
I can play basketball with more verve.
I can see down the front of women shirts without being obvious.
Let's face it, tall guys just look better.

Th short guy gets joked about and made fun of. But he can go into any store and find clothes that fit him. I have to special order most of my clothes. The smallest shirt size I can wear is 2XLT. Try and find one of THOSE at JCPenny.

The short guy has more trouble getting women to dance with him (Just being honest). But he can buy any car he wants. I have trouble fitting into most SUV's. And a compact car, forget about it. Only if I want to be in pain whenever I drive.

More times than I can count, I sit on a chair and it crumbles beneath me. I have accidentally broken STAIRCASES. I bump my shoulders into a door and it will fall off its hinges. My feet hang off the edge of every bed I have ever slept in. Chairs do not hit my legs in the right spot, and if I don't keep moving them, they fall asleep every ten minutes. My neck hurts from bending down so often to hear what little people are saying and see things from their perspective.

I do not live in agony because I am freakishly tall. I am not complaining about standing head and shoulders above most people. Just imagine, living 24 hours a day with the lights turned up just a little bit too high. Or with a small pointy protrusion sticking into your back while you sit on your otherwise comfortable chair. Or a high pitched squeal that only you can hear giving you a constant headache. Or taking a shower, only the water is always just a LITTLE too hot, or a LITTLE too cold.

You don't get bashed in the head. You don't get stabbed. Nothing gets broken. Instead you are in a near constant state of being uncomfortable.

On the one hand, it make syou pretty mentally tough. And my pain tolerance is off the charts. On the other hand... Beer comes into play a LOT.

So yeah, there's my pity party for the year.

I love myself.


posted on Dec 9, 2008 12:12 PM ()

Comments:

I never thought about most of that. There are good and bad points related to being big. A little bigger would be good for me, but I probably won't make it to the Scottish games any time soon.
comment by stiva on Jan 9, 2009 7:19 AM ()
You brat. I don't laugh at you. Go soak your giant head.
comment by largemarge on Jan 2, 2009 11:27 AM ()
Aw, babe. You gotta speak up when you feel this way. I'll put on my heels and stand on a chair so you don't have to crane your head so low kiss me-- and, I'll hand you a beer down from high.
comment by largemarge on Dec 29, 2008 8:16 PM ()
There is just more of you to love.I'm sure Laura agrees........Laurie
comment by dogsalot on Dec 27, 2008 8:53 AM ()
I am just an XL, but my one son-in-law is 6-5 350 and 3XL-4XL, size 52" belt!! No one can ever buy him any clothes for Christmas
comment by oldfatguy on Dec 9, 2008 6:06 PM ()
My dad is 6'3 and my mom is 5'0..I was lucky I am 6'2. I feel fortunate that I can still shop off the rack..thank God for Wal-Mart
comment by redwolftimes on Dec 9, 2008 1:44 PM ()

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