The left is taking my money.

My portfolio is... how do you say… diversified.

Yet every day I wake up and watch the CNN, and the MSNBC. And I see the wall street show, and the money people. They tell me that the New York Stock Exchange, and the Dow Jones, and the NASDAQ, and the… Crawdaq…. They are all losing the points. Going down, very bad, very much.

Two days later the money people, they say that the points, they come back. The day after that, they are gone again.

So every three days, I buy myself the French champagne, I pop the cork, have a Cuban cigar and toast the fates. Every time to be followed the next morning by the hangover and the depression… because all my money is gone again.

So, my civil questions is this… WHO IS TAKING MY F—ING MONEY?!?! WHERE ARE THE GODDAMN POINTS GOING?!??

The money people, they tell me the bullshtein. They tell me the commododores and the mutuals and the bonds are on the roller coaster. They will be going up and down for a long time.

I hate the roller coaster.

And it is the bullshtein anyway. Because I know. I know who. I know who is taking my money. I know who is stealing the points. It is the left. The left…WING. The Democrat. The Obama.

They take my money. And instead of using it for the cigar, and the tequila… They use it to save the fishes. They give it to the damn owls. They take it and the try to make the… how do you say… preservation…. For the endangered animals. With MYGODDAMN MONEY!!! They give it off to welfare. To people with no job. To people with no money. Do not misunderstand, I have sympathy for the man on the street corner next to the Home Depot who begs to work on the new buildings. I feel bad for the people who cannot enjoy the cigar. BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN I PAY THEM!! WHAT THEY DO FOR ME, EH!?!?

I make my fortune the honest way. I work hard, I save, I invest, I make the fortune. I live in huge villa with view of lake. And now the GODDAMN LEFT IS TAKING MY MONEY FOR SOME STUPID SAVE THE OWLS PEOPLE!!

Republicano yells about this because he is angry. I yell because I do not know yet how to stop the left from taking my money. But I will find a way. I always keep cash close by, just in case. So Republicano… he will be fine. You are not to worry. Except, to worry about the people taking my money. Worry for them. They will be in… how do you say… traction.

-Republicano