"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on."
- Robert Bloch
"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."
- Bob Hope
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
- Bill Cosby
"People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world,"
- Calvin
"Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation."
- Henry Kissinger
"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it."
- Franklin P. Jones
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."
- Erica Jong
"I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do."
- Phyllis Diller
"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans"
- John Lennon
"Procrastination is the greatest laborsaving invention of all time."
- Anonymous
"By the time we're ready to admit we've reached middle age, we're beyond it."
- Anonymous
"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home."
- Bill Cosby
"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together."
- Oprah Winfrey
"Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic."
- Dan Rather