School children may not know their shoe size, but if the National Environmental Education Foundation (NEEF) had its way on Friday they all now know the size of their carbon footprint. As part of National Environmental Education Week (EE Week) and just in time for Earth Day, NEEF has launched an online Zerofootprint Carbon Calculator that measures carbon footprints based on students’ responses to questions in five categories: transportation, what you eat, home and school, what you use and what you throw away. The goal is “to infuse environmental education into everyday learning,” and as kids navigate the calculator, they receive suggestions for reducing the size of their footprint—like using compact fluorescent light bulbs and switching to a more plant-based diet. (I’m sure you recall that livestock emit a significant amount of methane gas. Yes, it seems animals are bad for the planet. I’d love to know NEEF’s position on hunting.)

This year’s calculator is an exercise in awareness, but what’s next? Will Johnny and Susie get grades for environmental foot size? Will parents opting for cars over bikes be labeled earth-wreckers? Or perhaps bickering school children will have a new mantra: “Yeah, well my feet are smaller than yours!” And all because schools have traded science for science fiction.