A few days ago, Big Jeff, Big Chris, a few others and I went into the sanctum sanctorium that is Big Jeff's MAN Basement. We were there for the unveiling of Big Jeff's latest limited brew.

Now, Jeff has been working on this home brewed Beer... excuse me, I correct myself. This Ambrosia of Awesomeness! for quite some time now. I have experienced the highs and low, the tastes best left unmentioned, or the thick brews that had flavor reminiscent of Terriyaki. (He still hasn't quite forgiven me for that opinion)

But this batch was phenomenal. I mean, a good flavored taste, with little bitter and heavy impact. My brother came over to try some at Jeff's behest. My brother got a heavy buzz off of five glasses of Jeff's beer. Kelly (his name) is actually my little brother. I stopped referring to him as such after puberty. Kelly resembles a kind of thyroidal freak who makes me seem nimble and quick. If I were a cargo van... he is a Semi. So he is big, powerful and unsurprisingly, it takes quite a bit to get him drunk, so he was very surprised at the buzz he inadvertently got.

By the way, I can still kick his ass cuz I am older... I just won't guarantee that I would walk away from the fight.

Back to the beer...

Also at this event, Big Chris got a belated birthday gift from Big Jeff. The kind of gift that not only reminds all of us other fuckers who forgot his birthday, but shows us how one who really cares buys gifts.

Big Chris got A Boot.




I pause for dramatic effect. You see, you are only reading this article and so I have to describe the moment to you.

Big Jeff hands Big Chris the unassuming box.

Big Chris begins opening the box... in the distance an Angelic choir begins preparation for an Aria Onslaught!

Wrapping falls away as a shimmer of glass reveals... The choir is breaking down in the background in their crescendo... in the doorway to Big Jeff's laundry room one can see the Monolith waiting for discovery.

Big Chris removes from the box... Das Boot!

For those of you who haven't witnessed the entertainment that is Beerfest, Chris got a giant Glass Boot to drink beer out of... Nay! he received an altar to manliness that can be grasped in both hands and if you do not respect it, it will shit beer all over you.

I, frankly was moved to tears and found my own 22 ounce pilsner glass to be woefully lacking.

This damn thing could supposedly hold up to 2 of the Great Lakes, and while Big Chris couldn't drain it like in Beerfest (give him time) he sat there at the bar in the Man Basement and quite happily drank it empty once, and then shared it with those who by the fact they could sup from the great and powerful BOOT, discovered the word "YEAH!" tattooed on their scrotum's afterward!


All in all a good night one would say. Happy Belated Birthday Big Chris!