Strange, how my own B-day has become a harbinger of death. Lost Joyce Hebbithewaite last year on 12/21/07, lost "Mom" - Yvonne minutes before 12/21/08. On 12/22/08 I turned 43, lost in the Christmas rush. For me, a day to remember the loved-ones I lost. My sister, Colleen - like a 2nd mother to me,lost to cancer. My friend in safe-house need, an Indian belligerent, June Ishmael; again lost in cancer. One by one, am loosing friends and loved ones dear. My birthday has become a day of loss it seems; as I grow older, who else will I loose? A day of celebration, now has taken a mournful turn. But, for each I've lost - a lesson learned in living. So again the season passes, living lessons learned from mentors passed. Strange, how each of them knew my living struggles, yet I continue to live in their memory. In their stories told to me, I found a way to live; love and compassion, it seems, will find a way to encourage living. In their memory, I tread on, to make a difference in the life that they believed I could be. Then comes Christmas, gift giving season....struggling to give a gift of caring, to those whom I'm last on the list. But life renews hope, step-drt baked me a cake. A simple gift, but was the thought that touched me so. A gift made by hand, in person delivered to me; in work-place break room we shared the tasty treat. In the loss I silently bared, it was a tasty treat that made the difference. Forgotten not,, a simple gift to overcome my depressive thoughts, in the end, life does justify the living.