Hello everyone.
Its been more than a month now that i wrote my first post, hoping someone would give me some good advice about problem I've had, and some of you actually did it:)
U all helped me to go through a very rough times and once again i want to thank you for that.
We all have words of wisdom for others, but when we need em for ourselves we all look toward other people, friends, lovers....(I guess its a real good thing if we have words of wisdom that we could give to ourselves in all rough times, but i guess i am not so smart....or strong in those times....so i reached out)
Anyway, in last 30+ days I've been around, doing this and that, trying to speed time to get my answers, to hear his answer, his decision.
He called me more than a few times, txt-ed me more than i hoped and prayed.He gave me a real good ground to plant a tree of real hope, that everything is going to fine after those 30 days.
His best friend even forwarded me his txt to her where he says "oh,i miss him, i miss our love, feel of security when i am with him, his attention....miss all that"...Once he txt-ed me with something like "OK, my handsome man, have a good time out tonight and don't let someone grab you...." and all similar sort of the things.
Anyway i guess he miss leaded me or i was just stupid to believe in those things....(but i do really think that he was honest about all this)
When we've finally met of 25th of July he told me that everything is the same....Same problems, same feelings, nothing has changed...and that it would be best for both to break up our thing....
I was hoping and praying for the best, but also i was preparing myself for the worst (I've had those 30 days to prepare myself, and it wasn't a deal of pain like 30 ago, but there were some disappointments, some tear....) There were not argues, bad words....I've just asked why did he called all those times, why that all?....
Now.....i feel, not so well, but i try to be better.I try so hard to do something all of my day, just not to think about him...and that is good thing for me....but i just hope that i won't run out of those things so soon ;)I mean if i do 'em all, what should i do then?;)
I would like that i am one of those guys who can switch to another next day first thing in the morning, but i am not...and to be honest, and i must be honest, i still hope....I don't know why, i don't know when...i just hope....I guess i need more time to let go than he needed.
I haven't called him since , i haven't contacted him in any way.....i guess i just breath in and out.
So, maybe this post is "yesterdays news" for u all, i mean we all hear this all before...and we all knew what might happen but what should i do? Should I just play Paul McCartney's - "Let it Be" track and try too find my words of wisdom? ;)
Is there any truth in saying "Hope dies last"?

thanks and best wishes.

S. (D)