After hell of the week, after few stormy days, scary peaceful nights...a ray of Sunshine came up.
I've been totally lost, I've been in a chaos (can happen to anyone)...I've decided to share my problem with you guys...I've needed a neutral opinion, better perspective, cos i couldn't stay sane, couldn't hear my mind.
Thanks to you guys, first of all to you "itsjustme" (my dear friend), Ekyprogressive, Lunarhunk and last, but not least, Clovis (hopefully my all friends to be) I've risen up.Slowly but surely I've made my way through the days.
Clovis i will never forget what you've told me about my problem.You've helped me a lot. You've said just what i needed to hear.Although i was a bit scared what you might say, I've read your comment of Cloudbusting and i have found a piece of mind.
Anyway, i was feeling real good yesterday, i was determine to stay that way.Sure, i knew that sometimes in next coming days i might fall down again, but i wasn't afraid of that.I knew that only thing i could do is to keep my mind busy on other things, my friends, family,so I've organized my day that way.....and it was so good, for a change;)
I was laughing, i was making a jokes, I've had a quite good day yesterday.Nothing told me that somethings going to happen last night.
Isn't it nice when, in real dark night, u see a Ray of Sunshine.
HE CALLED....:):):):) (don't blame me for those smileys - i just can't help it)
The phone rang and it was him.I was so surprised, i found myself so confused.
He said Hi, what are u doing? - with his well known happy voice , like everytime he called before. How are you?, Any news? How have you been those past few days?( he asked but he knew all the answers)...and I've answered at all questions with cool (normal) voice.Trying and succeeding to stay normal, like i don't suffer...Ofcourse i was lying that i am fine, i wouldn't let him hear anything that might cause him a feel of guilt.So I've pretended that I'm just fine.... And he was smiling all the time, like he was before.
So i asked him "So, how are you?" and he said "Confused a bit" and stared to laugh (in our language word for confused sounds similar as word for bush)and I've said " maybe you would feel better in bushes" and we started to laugh
together....After a while we ended our conversation, and he said..." ok, talk to you later - sweet dreams"
I called our mutual friend immediately and she said "i knooooow he called you. He called me today to told me that he wanted to call you all day, and don't know what to do.And I told him - don't ask me, you already know what would i do if I were you,I'd call him" - so he called me.
And that's not all guys.....he called me today again:)It was short one, he asked me to do him a favor (something to check it out on the Internet for him and to call him back)
And i did it....
So....maybe i am boring with my story, but some good advice will help me a lot...again;)
I've committed myself for one month of silence (not calling him, not seeing him, etc)and should i keep my promise?Should i act this "cool" way.What would you do if you were me?
Clovis? Ekyprogresive?Lunarhunk?Itsjustme?
Would love to hear from you all....
And if you feel like "oh, my Gosh, its him again...and his soap opera story" feel free to say so;)
Thanks anyway....
D