It seems I have hit "The Wall"
I can't eat. I can barely sleep, my mind is always racing with thought of tomorrow, but mostly I think of the past. I have been pondering if the last 3 years have been a waste of time. Three years I will never get back. God, that saddens me :(
I'd like to think that I have been happy and that I have lead a satisfying existence up until now, but the more and more I analyze it I am finding that I have not. When I look pictures of myself in the past, my smile... that's not me, and it's not real. It's a front for my everyday audience.
Look, I'm not always this "Emo" or whatever the new teenage term for "Feeling Blue" would be.
I am usually chipper, upbeat and optomistic. I don't really understand what's wrong, do I need to see a doctor?

But then I pinch myself and I simply reply to my own self. Uh Hell-oooo! Been there done that, did it work then? Nope not at all. Pill or no pill, I felt the same.

I'm not saying they don't work for everybody, just not for me.

Though I have found a fix, his name is Miyavi and his music is absolute bliss! I have a few of his songs on my. I have no clue as to what he is saying, except for a few words here and there. But just the thought of this kid makes me smile. He has enough energy for the world and thats what makes me love him. Not to mention the diversity and his individual style, simply amazing. He has one of those smiles that just makes you blush and feel girly. Love him!

Anyways, sorry my posts have been so short and emo but I have to keep up with a college journal as well for credit.
But One day I'll post that on here as well, ha.