So I’ve kind of hit a rough patch in life.

Sigh.

Here goes nothing…

Well I met 2 of my half brothers not too long ago for the first time in 13 years… I took them to a local amusement park and we had a lot of fun. We have the same eyes and personalities… it’s crazy. We always had something to talk about and it was no where near awkward. What a relief right? Well they started calling me everyday after that, and I had to tell them I don’t do too much on weekdays because I work early in the mornings. I feel like they think I’m blowing them off because they haven’t called since Sunday. I feel terrible and they don’t have cell phones, so they always call from different numbers so it’s not like I can call them. I don’t want them to feel that way.. and I’ve been going through a lot lately… let me explain…

I don’t have a car right now. It finally took a dump on me and I’ve been saving money to get a new one. Finally I have enough. My mom’s roommate decides she’s gonna give us a 2 week notice that she’s moving out and going to live at her boyfriend’s house. Damn. Now I have to pay her half of the rent which is $600. There goes my car. My brother and his girlfriend live with us and neither has a job. My brother is 19 and his girlfriend is 18. I’m upset that they don’t even try to look for a new job. Now I’m going to have to pay $600 a month so we all can live together? I’m so frustrated. I don’t even make a lot of money at my job, how am I ever going to get a car with paying $600 dollars a month for rent, and more for household expenses and my & my moms cell phone bills ect… I’m so overwhelmed.

When it comes to my friends, I don’t even know who my real ones are anymore. I spend a lot of my spare time with my boyfriend because after a year, he’s now become my best friend. But when I call, or text or try to get a hold of some of my old friends to hang out or do something, I either get stood up, or no one calls me back. Now I’m not the type that stopped talking to my friends after I got a boyfriend. I met my boyfriend through mutual friends, so we have the same group of friends, but I don’t know… I really miss them and I feel like they don’t care anymore. My best friend moved away to West Covina so I rarely see her, especially because she’s made new friends out there. My old group act kind of weird around me when I see them and I have no idea why. I guess people change but damn.

Easter with the family. My goodness. Now my family hasn’t all been together in years. I’m talking 5 to 6 years. Well for Easter we all got together at my cousin’s house. Mind you, I strongly believe everyone in my family has a drinking and or drug problem. Well my aunt had a few drinks and was making an ass of herself as always… and I have an uncle that I think of as a dad. He took care of me for 10 years of my life… well he looked at me dead in the face very upset and said “thank you for getting your aunt drunk” .. then took a chug out of a Jager bottle. It really upset me because she’s a grown woman, she should know her limit. So now he was blaming me for what she was doing?????? So he got her in the car and was going to take her home when we got a call that they had been pulled over. GREAT! The cop was nice and because my aunt was so obnoxiously drunk, he felt bad for my uncle. The cop told him that if he can get someone that’s sober to where they are in 10 minutes and drive them home, he wouldn’t arrest them for driving drunk. My cousins went to get them and brought them back. My uncle and aunt both apologized to me, but it still hurt… I just want my old family back… After my grandma passed away everyone kind of went there own way and started doing their own thing… I hate it…

I’m supposed to get a new position at my job since Christmas time and they still said it might take another few weeks. I’m tired of waiting … I feel like I sometimes get forgotten about or taken advantage of.

Grrr… I think that’s enough for today…

I believe in Karma… so I must have done something horrible to get all this in return lol… all kidding aside.

I feel like I’m going to have a freakin breakdown soon…