Apr 17, 2009
SICK & TIRED A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: 'Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hou...
Mar 11, 2009
The following took place at an international conference for women's rights. The first speaker, a lady from England stood and said, "During last year's conference, we spoke about being more assertive w...
Mar 11, 2009
An investment advisor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. The investment banker be...
Mar 6, 2009
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.The man, who was a priest, said, "I am ...
Mar 6, 2009
You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cann...
Feb 23, 2009
A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country.A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense.A...
Feb 23, 2009
Giving sad news to a troopThe Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me." So the Sergeant ca...
Feb 23, 2009
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone...
Feb 2, 2009
What is his occupation?A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"Tim stood up and proudly said, ...
Feb 2, 2009
Dad will never sayTop Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions. 9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, ...
Jan 29, 2009
I just had a dream about itA young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think ...
Jan 29, 2009
Man goes to a dentistA man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What ...
Jan 26, 2009
Good for him!!!Surprised CBS let him get away with this even though he's right!! Right on, Andy Rooney ! Andy Rooney said on "60 Minutes" a few weeks back: I don't think being a minority makes you a v...
Jan 21, 2009
How many people have bags under the eyes from watching TV yesterday?...
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