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So, my guys stole a body for me and the whole world mourned a dead guy that nobody knew. They made a lot of money when I died. I'm still bringing in a lot of money. Except this year I hear some other dead person earned more than I did. Except I'm not dead. AND, I'm not a robot. O course, you can't ask anyone because only two or three guys were in on it and helped me pull it off.
I still sing... in the shower. My shower has great acoustics. I still eat peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Nowadays my cook makes them with low fat peanut butter and light butter. They still taste pretty good. But they got a lot of new snacks these days. So my snacks are more varied. Have you ever had marshmallow sauce with bacon in it? Don't knock it until you try it. There are too many of you close minded people out there. The bacon is crumbled up. You could add a few dollops of grape jelly in it. That's really good. You got to add the jelly and mix it up real good before you add the crumbled bacon. If you have a cook like I do, don't forget to tell her to do that.
I don't shoot so many TVs because there aren't any more Robert Goulets... I think maybe he was a robot. So you people who loved him needn't mourn... he's not really dead because he never was alive. Anyway, it's good I don't need to shoot so many TVs because the neighbors get pretty suspicious when they hear gun shots. Once they called 911. My guys had a lot of explaining to do.
So, I came to this site to wish someone a happy birthday. I came on her birthday. Now she's claiming that I'm a robot! What kind of a cynical world has this become? Baby, I expect you to retract that part of your post. And, make it a heartfelt apology. Or, I remove the Happy Birthday. Since I'm not a robot, I mean it... every word. So there.
Proof of when I arrived:
Uh, one thing she got right. I am perfect. But even so, she hurt my feelings.
