“God will be on the side of God. And God always wins”---Pastor at the Free Will Baptist Church outside Daingerfield, TX.






Mr. Barbiebrains and I are avid campers. We are also pigheaded atheists impaled by the rusty hinges of the Bible Belt. Mr. Barbiebrains will venture almost anywhere with me except to certain parts of Mexico to lick toads. Then it’s, “Barbie, I got life insurance on you. If you want to dig up bones in Tamaulipas or lick toads or shock yourself with an electric dog collar, you are so on your own. Just please wear your motorcycle helmet and some lipstick.”






My travels brought me to Daingerfield, TX last summer. I stopped by the First Free Will Baptist Church. I stepped in the door, picked up a bulletin, and sat on the back pew just after 11 AM. This is a small church with only about 100 in attendance. For a church this small, they had a piano, an organ, and an electric guitar. Twenty members made up the choir. The bulletin said that today is the first day of a 6 day revival meeting and the church was providing "OLD-FASHION PREACHING DAY AND NIGHT". I was about to discover their meaning of "old-fashion preaching."

The services began with choir singing, a duet, a solo, and a long, rambling fast spoken prayer. People were lifting their hands and standing and hollering "Praise the Lord!" and "Praise Jesus" when the chigger-like Holy Ghost passion brought them to what resembled itchy narcoleptic flailing. The preacher got up to deliver his lesson, but before he got very far, a man stood up to tell everyone how much Jesus helped him with his life. This didn't seem planned. This man talked for a few minutes before he sat back down. The preacher spoke about half a sentence when a woman stood up and told everyone about how Jesus solves all our problems. She talked for a few minutes about how Jesus worked in her life and then sat down. I guess this preacher is use to constant interruptions.

The preacher finally got a chance to give his lesson on Isaiah 59:1-4. His talk was about sin. To give you an idea of his preaching style, think of Jonathan Edwards' "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" hyped up on steroids. He knew how to get this mostly elderly congregation pumped up and going strong for JESUS! He gave his congregation a long list of sins, all while shouting at the top of his lungs. He called "baby killing" a sin and homosexuality a sin and told everyone to speak out against any sign of sin, even if they have family members who might be engaged in that sort of activity. He wanted to bring the Bible and prayer back into our schools. He warned his congregation that if they tried to bring the Bible into schools, the government would oppose them, but do not worry: God will be on the side of God, and God's side always wins. Everything the preacher said was shouted. The people shouted "Praise the Lord!", "Praise Jesus!", and "Amen" though all of this. The preacher was talking fast and loud and everyone had their hands up in the air. I felt like I was at a cattle auction without any cattle.

When I listen to sermons in any church, I try to look at the lesson with an objective mindset. Where was the preacher right? Where was he wrong? Did everything he say agree with the Bible that he claims to have read? You couldn't do that to any point in this preacher's lesson. He was stereotypical of everything that non-believers see in Christians: they are loud, obnoxious, ignorant, and filled with prejudice and self-righteous attitudes. It is hard not to stereotype when I'm watching Christian fundamentalism in action. It could be summarized in one line that the preacher spoke during his lesson: "Now church... don't go out an tell your friends that I told you to get rid of your televisions, but if the Lord tells you to get rid of your television, you don't sell it, YOU BEAT IT WITH A BASEBALL BAT!" This, in all honesty, scared me. The lesson ended with a prayer, but I couldn't understand a word of the bewildering godspeak because everyone was still shouting their "Amens". What good is a public prayer if no one hears it?

The services ended with some announcements, which were the only even-tempered part of the whole service. In a very clam manner, it was announced that there will be a women's lunch event later this week. The final prayer was given and everyone woke up from their trance. They talked (at a regular volume) and acted like it was another normal Sunday. One lady introduced herself to me, but at this point, I was making a dash for the door.